HappyPills

A very very bored boy who enjoys having his medical marijuana card. Also, i love my man, smosh, stuff that makes me laugh, and stuff that trips me out. Just a chill pokemon stoner.

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(via chrisynova)

theserenesupreme:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

Now that’s what I call justice 

Finally

(via defendxpoprocks)

theweaponofchoice:

what’s even cornier are those posts like ADULTS FORCE YOU TO GO TO COLLEGE AND CHOOSE A CAREER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE I JUST WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD, EXPERIENCE LIFE, AND BE IN THE WILD

boo hoo your parents are paying for you to go to college how do you think you’re going to travel the world when all you do now is watch reruns of Daria and make text posts about how you’re too scared to use a telephone to order delivery pizza

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

xalifornia:

Do u ever see a boy and ur like oh my god I love life

(Source: bbadsuns, via stuckwithyoutubers)

dominik-the-mominik:

we did it guys

the gay agenda has finally been fulfilled

dominik-the-mominik:

we did it guys

the gay agenda has finally been fulfilled

(via chrisynova)

timelordparadise:

drbirdsadviceforsadpoets:

none of that was expected.

I have seen this at least five times and every time the ending takes me by surprise

(Source: earthexplodes.com, via smosh)

huffingtonpost:

Studies show that women apologize more than men, often for perfectly reasonable acts like, you know, taking up space. 

So watch this Pantene commercial here to inspire you to stop saying sorry for no reason. 

(Source: youtube.com, via chrisynova)

appledevice:

hold on guys i have to take this

appledevice:

hold on guys i have to take this

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

weloveshortvideos:

White people 

Vine by comedianlonnie

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

smilingforthecamera:

grimybear:

i know i give white people a lot of shit but u guys are really nice. like when the light turns green and there’s a white pedestrian that’s almost across the street u guys always do that jog thing. i know it’s kind of insignificant but i appreciate it white people. u and ur half jog thing.

i think about this post every time i do the half jog thing

(Source: secretpapi, via fuckyeahloldemort)